North Korea, Best Korea!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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