Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
