She went from zero to smokin in five shots
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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