I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
