It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
