would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
