but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
