last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
