giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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