Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
