Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
