Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
