When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
