I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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