Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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