We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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