No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
