hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
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