hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
