dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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