What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
