3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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