The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my being single is dangerous.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
