YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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