Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
