okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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