Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
