There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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