Can i not drive my cunt home
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
