I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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