So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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