i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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