You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
