i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
