I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
