This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
