how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
