i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
