i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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