she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
