Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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