Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
