i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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