Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
