he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
