I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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