How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
