I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
