Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
