Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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