Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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