omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
